Interestingly, that pretty much sums up all of my November. It was a month of great lessons.
Let’s start with the death. It was my Dad. He emailed me mid October to tell me he had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was ok with this and certainly not fearful of dying, but he thought he would be around until at least the end of summer and he didn’t want us to rush over and visit him.
I already had a planned to trip to South Island of NZ for a 50th so I booked extra time at the end of that trip to visit him.
A call from Dad’s wife told me that this would not be the case as he had gone downhill and that it might be a good idea to get over sooner.
My sister and I arrived in time to see him while he was conscious. He knew we were there and held our hands. I sensed the deep love that was present.
I didn’t have an easy relationship with my Father. He never understood my sexuality and he wasn’t an easy man at the best of times.
We didn’t speak at all from 2010 until 2014, and I knew that, for our relationship to shift, I needed to take responsibility for how I was showing up in relation to him.
You see, I always wanted more from him. I expected more from him as my father and I focused on his faults. Of course, that was shown right back at me. I also wanted his approval and acceptance.
By taking responsibility for what I was expecting of him, for taking the responsibility for the lack that I saw in him, I was able to shift it. The wonderful tool I used for that was the Hawaiian Love & Forgiveness Prayer, Hooponopono “Thank you, I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me. ”
It took a lot of practice over a whole year, but I shifted how I felt about him. I moved into a place of love and acceptance of him. I forgave him and I forgave myself. I didn’t have to agree with him, nor he with me, but we reached a place of love & acceptance.
So, as he lay there on his death bed three weeks ago, I just had unconditional love for him. His transition was so peaceful and an honour to witness.
After we celebrated Dad’s life I went to Auckland to my other brother’s place (from my mother’s second marriage). There I met my new 7 month old niece, Sapphire.
Here I experienced the unconditional love that babies are. She is just a beautiful bubble of love and joy and totally in presence, which is essentially what we all are!
I then went home for four days before returning to NZ for my planned trip for my dear friend Blair’s 50th birthday, a fabulous black tie party. There I met with amazing people who are all doing amazing things, including Blair who is in the top 5% of real estate agents in NZ.
What I realised about Blair is that he associates with high achievers because that is his vibration, and in turn, he vibrates this for them.
I realised for my clients and myself to vibrate higher we must also hang out with high achievers to vibe at that higher level – people achieving more than us, so that we can be in that vibration.
On my flight home I did an inventory of my friends and how I saw them, and realised that so many were in fact high achievers in their own areas and that there was an amazing brains trust right before me. I also realised that there is also an opportunity to widen my circle to more high achieving people for me to aspire to.
So I ask you to do a review and then ask yourself who is the highest achiever in your world, in your industry, in your field, your social circle? Who could you be networking with? Connecting with? Following? Being inspired by? And then take action towards connecting.
Then came the walk. It is my vision to walk one of the NZ great walks each year.
This is my fourth year walking and this year it was the Keplar Track, a 3 to 4 day walk. We decided to do the 3 day version. Day one the weather was perfect. Day two we had gale force winds and sleet and this was the most exposed part of the walk, and day 3 it rained heavily all day.
What I experienced was pure joy regardless of what the weather was doing. Yes, I had some chatter going on about being cold and wet, but as I accepted fully what was, and to be ok with that, it enabled me to be in presence and pure joy at the beauty of it all.
Nature carries on no matter what the conditions and when we play in that state of presence, we can truly enjoy what is, as there is no resistance, just allowing.
NZ, thank you for your beauty and for the lessons you give me. It seems I return often to hear you. Thank you.
Love and light
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