Last month I turned 50. It was a wonderful celebration where I bought many of my beautiful dear friends together for a wonderful long lunch and then had a week at my favourite beach house at my favourite beach in NSW. The festival of 50 it was!
Then last week I attended an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) training course, essentially to become qualified to practice this and to teach my clients. EFT is a fantastic tool where you tap on the meridians around your body with intention. This clears blockages, old patterning, paradigms and even illnesses, aches and pains. It is very effective and powerful and can be done anywhere.
The interesting thing for me is that, of course, as soon as I am learning a new modality, things come up that are ready to be worked on. So that brings me back to my birthday.
Usually, I ask for no gifts and very rarely receive them, but this time I didn’t say anything about gifts as that was what I was drawn to do.
I am in deep appreciation for the gifts received and for the love that was expressed through these gifts and through the presence of my friends and my husband who helped me celebrate. But surprisingly, after the celebrations, I was left with a sense of dissatisfaction.
The gifts were lovely and the celebration was exactly as I’d hoped, so I was unsure where this feeling was coming from, but the feeling was familiar.
Even my poor husband presented me with a gift that was a version of something I had mentioned wanting but it was not the version I actually wanted and I couldn’t help but show my dissatisfaction.
Yes, I felt dissatisfied with the whole thing of receiving, which was completely irrational and not at all abundant!
Given that we create the whole of our reality, I knew it was something for me to work on.
Anyway, last week at EFT it came up. In the process, I got to tap and tune in on when that dissatisfaction showed up first, and as I tuned in (the tapping helps this) I remembered at my fourth birthday receiving my first two-wheeled bike with training wheels.
I remember being surprised by it but also having this feeling that it wasn’t the bike I really wanted. I also remember that I pretended to like it.
What I tuned into during my training was from that day onwards the four year old me was running the show when it came to gifts. The four year old me had made up that I’m not gifted what I truly want and that somehow the present that someone decides to give me should be exactly what I would have chosen for myself.
As I tuned in further, I realised that this had played out through the rest of my childhood and right up to the 50 year old me. I had made up that I wouldn’t get exactly what I want, and, of course, that is exactly what has shown up.
So, at last, I was able to do some work on clearing this belief and to receive any gifts that I’m given with the love and appreciation for what they are, rather than what they’re aren’t.
Why am I sharing this story with you? Well, whenever we are feeling dissatisfaction, sadness, out of alignment, unhappiness, anger, jealousy or dis-ease, that is our opportunity to enquire what it is all really about.
If we don’t, it will just keep showing up.
You see, by the time we are seven years of age we have made up all this stuff about ourselves, others, our community and the world around us, to support our ego. Or, if you like, the inner child is running our show, to keep us limited, separate and to play smaller than we truly are. It is simply all made up.
Ask yourself this, am I prepared to let the four year old me continue to run my show?
If you would like to release some of these old patterns, book a session with me. With the tools I have in my toolbox we can release them, let them go. Forever. And then it’s up to you, your adult self, to decide how you want to react, respond and interact with the world.
To summarise, regardless of my old patterns, I am so grateful for the love of my beautiful friends and for the opportunity to see how I had been limiting myself and how I can free myself from those limitations.
Love & light
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